who's going to carry the pig?

SB and I attended a remarkable wedding this weekend. It was quite the banquet, with three hours of cocktails, during which the bride and groom stood in the same place and took hundreds of photos, followed by a 13 course dinner and live band. I was exhausted and I imagine the bride and groom were also, even though you never would have known it from their glowing smiles. The event almost made me rethink my plan to elope to the nearest register.

Up until this weekend I had almost convinced SB of my plan. I sweetly described the scene of us strolling leisurely through the botanical gardens where I used to walk every week with my family 20 years ago on our weekly return from mass at St. Josephs. We would then make our way to the historic Rawlinson House where we would be quickly and easily married. I even found out that the US does not require registration of the wedding and would simply acknowledge our union as long as it is legal under HK law. Piece of cake!

SB is not against my proposal, but I can see that he is still leaning toward a more formal event. He still wants a formal engagement with a shiny ring, followed by a wedding in his beloved Adirondacks. He is even more keen now that he knows that I don't care where we get married. Since I could not talk him into my plan, I tried to talk him out of his.

"You realize that if we do the big blowout in the woods, then my family will want a hometown reception as well?" He nodded. "I think it's going to be very costly...and not just financially."

While we would be having the typical American wedding in the Adirondacks, my family event would have to include our Vietnamese heritage. Our traditions are very similar to the Chinese. This means that SB would have to show up at my parents' house with his groomsmen and be put through their paces by my family. My father would demand proof of his devotion. My mother would want him to show his gentle side. My ong ba ngoai (grandparents) would be so excited that they would have no demands. But my sister...I cackled gleefully at the thought of my sister's demands.

My sister and I are as dissimilar as two sisters can be, but we share mutual fierce love for each other. While I am a bit of a tomboy despite my shoe addiction, my sister is very feminine. She is a doting nurse practitioner who always smells like flowers. She loves to go dancing, doesn't consume alcohol, always looks pretty, and can somehow manage to endear others while being a diva. When she met SB, she expressed a mixture of delight and horror. She thought he was handsome and funny and appropriately crazy about me but she was appalled by how "manly" he was. "He needs to treat you better," she lectured me, "You should be his princess." She seemed disappointed when I told her not to hold her breath for him to start showering me with presents like her boyfriend did. And while she was at it, she shouldn't hold her breath over me turning into a princess either. SB does buy me flowers and presents, just not every week. And if he recited poetry for me I would probably never have sex with him again.

Yes, if SB wants the princess wedding, he will have to deal with my princess sister. I gleefully described to him how I imagined that she would put him through his paces. She would demand money and presents from him, proof of his ability to sustain me. She would inspect the groom's entourage to make sure that they were committed to assisting him in caring for me. His family would have to carry a large feast to show how much they would offer for me. And you know how these Asian weddings are.

Someone in his family would have to carry the pig.

Comments

Jennifer W said…
Better start saving my pennies now :)