Thursday, March 1, 2018

spot on

68 years after Dr. Ernst Gräfenberg identified it, sex researchers have concluded that the G-Spot does not exist. I would like to punch in the nose those three smug college girlfriends of mine who used to rave about their amazing G-Spot sex and all of those multiple orgasms. Liars.

Without getting too personal about my sex life, I am comfortable enough, confident enough, and lucky enough to have discovered erogenous zones. I have never found the mythical G-Spot despite intensive research. In fact, the research turned fun times into something rather clinical and for several weeks in 2007, SB and I suffered a less than stellar sex life as foreplay started to turn into a gynecological examination with me reading excerpts from books aloud and SB methodically following a series of increasingly complicated instructions in search of the magic 1-2cm zone of wonder. 

Thankfully we abandoned the search and concluded that my sadly G-Spot deficient body was still pretty marvelous.

Erin "it's so easy to find, just make a come here gesture" can go suck lemons.

Tuesday, January 16, 2018


My predictions for 2018:

  • Mueller will not be fired. However, Mueller's good name and reputation will be in tatters, and Republicans will spend the rest of the year avoiding mirrors.
  • A Klan supporter will be nominated to a lifetime judicial appointment. Oh, wait, that already happened. An candidate who has never tried a case will...oh, wait.
  • The EPA will cease hiring scientists.
  • Lebanon will become a battleground.
  • Everyone will talk about the plight of the Rohingya and do nothing.
  • Everyone will talk about Yemen and do nothing.
  • Everyone will talk about Pakistan and do nothing.
  • Everyone will talk about Niger and do nothing.
  • Everyone will talk about Brexit and do nothing.
  • Palestine will stay relevant all year long.
  • Joe Biden will begin his quest for the Democratic nomination.
  • Mike Pence will manage to avoid being seen anywhere near Trump.
  • A prominent reporter will be arrested.
  • Putin will court Modi.

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

A Message From Earth

This is a present from a small, distant world, a token of our sounds, our science, our images, our music, our thoughts and our feelings. We are attempting to survive our time so we may live into yours.
— President Jimmy Carter, 1977

40 years ago, the Voyager spacecrafts launched while carrying two golden phonograph records containing sounds an images to portray life and culture on earth, and a message of goodwill to any extraterrestrial life forms who might encounter the Voyager 1 or 2.

WeTransfer has released a curated online collection inspired by the Voyager Golden Record, with updated messages of goodwill and portrayals of life on earth:

"The exhibition's intention is to relay a message of goodwill and encourage further exploration while raising awareness and funding for Astronomers without Borders, the Carl Sagan Institute at Cornell University, and the SETI Institute. WeTransfer is providing $10,000 grants to each institution to initiate public donations, and the project will be commemorated in a $15 limited edition zine with 100% of generated revenues going to the non-profits above."

You may learn more from the website A Message From Earth. It's quite mesmerizing and if you are of like mind to myself, you will welcome this respite from "reality" and the present situation of our earthly culture. 

The contents of the message are listed below, though the listing hardly signifies; I recommend actually experiencing the message online.

Preface: A comic of illustrations by Sophy Hollington telling the story and brief history of the original Golden Record.

1. Greetings: Wanda Díaz Merced, a blind astronomer who uses sonification to study interstellar events, presents a study of stars as heard on earth - with a selection of images curated by NASA's Rebecca Roth.

2. Music: In video conversations between BBC 6 Radio's Gilles Peterson and leading international musicians living in London, Peterson explores the global influences of contemporary sound. Each musician discusses how their music is influenced by their world locally and globally, paired with one-hour musical mixes from leading DJs from their home country. Musicians include Christian Scott, Nubya Garcia, DJ Edu, Jordan Rakei, Maft Sai, DJ Lefto, DJ Soul Sista, and Dengue Dengue Dengue, DJ Juls, Nai Palm, Fatima Al Qadiri, and Luzmira (of Family Atlantica) Zerpa.

3. Sounds: An interactive, custom-designed sound collage generator allows visitors to contribute their own unique sound to the project, using and manipulating sounds produced by S U R V I V E, the group best known for scoring Netflix's Stranger Things.

4. Images: Photo essays from international photographers Chiara Goia, Albert Bonsfills, Luisa Dörr, Sasha Arutyunov, and Kent Andreasen focus on stories of hope, determination, and goodwill in the respective cities they call home.

5. Brainwaves: A series of 500-word pieces from artists, writers, and musicians explore the phrase "and somehow, somewhere, the record arrives…". Contributors include Aspen Matis, Charlie Skelton, Deepak Chopra, Hannah Giorgis, John Saward, Lawrence Krauss, Musa Okwonga, Nelly Ben Hayoun, The Range, Sara-Kate Astrove, Shelly Oria and Vera Chok.

Epilogue: An animated video collaboration produced in response to the question "do we matter?", with a musical score from Oneohtrix Point Never and Voyager short film by WeTransfer Studios.

Monday, August 21, 2017

the fragrant harbour

It's becoming very late in the season, but there are still some pockets of nature where flowers are blooming. Yesterday along a shaded path near Chai Wan, SB and I enjoyed the sweet, white floral scent of Vietnamese gardenia or cape jasmine, Gardenia (Kailarsenia) vietnamensis - which is not actually a gardenia at all. The flowers are very delicate and don't last for more than a couple of days, but the scent is very strong, sweet and creamy, much like many white tropical, floral fragrances.

The leaves are a beautiful deep green, waxy and robust in contrast with the delicate flower. The Vietnamese gardenia is one of my favorite flowers in Hong Kong, along with what I believe are Fagraea ceilanica next to the hockey pitches at the Happy Valley racecourse.

Thursday, August 17, 2017

hailing the king

Being  ignorant to local politics, as well and having returned from holiday last night, I was not aware that the “King of New Territories” Lau Wong-fat had passed. I found out after Googling whose funeral was today. My body was still in American time so I woke up early this morning and took a leisurely tram ride to the office in Quarry Bay. I was engrossed in my news reader, finding out about the antics of a certain Cheetos hued leader, when I was jolted into awareness by a strong perfume of lilies. I looked up to discover that we were passing the Hong Kong Funeral Home, which was surrounded to capacity with funeral wreaths. There were so many wreaths that they spilled into a park across the street. Down the road I would see workers from the flower shops approaching, laden with even more wreaths. If you were planning to take note of who paid their tributes, you would be making a long list.

Thursday, July 27, 2017

come along and ride on a fantastic voyage

SB has been on a fantastic voyage, and by fantastic I mean the Merriam-Webster definition 1-C and not in any way excellent.

When I bought the tickets on the United website, I was distracted by the very attractive price, followed by the relatively short journey time, and did not notice what has now become the most important part of the ticket offer: the code share and stopover location. Only after SB got to Airport Express did we start to have misgivings about flying Air China through Beijing. That two hour layover that was so attractive became a source of concern when taken with the fact that 60 percent of all Air China flights to Beijing are delayed by more than 20 minutes, ostensibly due to weather.

SB sat on the plane for an hour and a half due to "weather". When the plane landed in Beijing, it taxied for fifteen minutes before finding a gate. I phoned Air China in the meantime, having found a later flight, but I was told that SB needed to arrange the flight at the airport. He stood in a queue for two hours and was told that the other flight was booked and he needed to spend the night. He was offered a room to share with some other unlucky passenger, which he declined. Air China at least gave him a ride to the hotel that he paid out of pocket for. The ticket agent reminded SB that due to inclement weather, he would not be reimbursed for food or any other expenses incurred. SB wryly noted that it was sunny and calm all the way from Hong Kong to Beijing, but it was amazing that the flight was delayed due to weather. And by amazing, I mean the Merriam-Webster definition and not the common, broadened meaning; there was nothing slightly better than pleasant in the ordeal.

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

all those jerks

SB has still not figured out his ring size. He may be getting a piece of string to tie around his finger. At least it won't detract from the watch that I bought for him. I'm more excited about the watch than I was about my engagement ring. I bought the model that is the closest to the original moon watch. SB about had a nerdgasm while visiting the Houston Space Center this past winter so I think that he will like this gift. I need to figure out how to keep it a secret because I'm so excited about it.

SB left this morning for his annual off-grid experience in the Adirondacks. He told me that he wouldn't miss his jerk dog one bit and then proceeded to lift the jerk dog onto the bed for some forcible cuddling. Elsie usually hates being on the bed but this once, she actually laid down and let out a long suffering groan, and proceeded to fall into blissful slumber. Tippytoes circled the bed like a shark, wondering why she was being left out. She doesn't speak English so I couldn't explain to her that Elsie was going to be abandoned for a while and SB needed to cuddle her. For her own good and not for him of course. I noticed that despite not caring one whit, SB was wearing socks to bed so that he could leave something behind that reminded her of his stinky feet.

I may want to strangle SB, especially right now that I am scrambling to mail the signed bar contract because he forgot yet another item, but I will miss that jerk also. Maybe Elsie and I can split the socks.