I had an interesting discussion this weekend with a fellow American in regard to my two adopted homes in the United States - College Station, Texas and Ithaca, New York. The person who I was talking to hailed from Chicago so he had limited experience in either state but that didn't stop him from forming strong opinions. His daughter was a couple of years from high school graduation and we were discussing my two universities (actually I went to three but who's counting). He was very interested in Cornell but not so much in Texas A&M. That did not surprise me. One is an Ivy and the other is a massive state school with a very strong military presence and he was obviously and proudly an elitist. Well, so am I in a lot of ways.
I tried to give him the facts as I knew them about both schools and answer his queries as honestly as I could but eventually I felt the need to correct him on a few of his assumptions. He correctly assumed that Texas is a much more conservative state than New York and that Texas A&M is a conservative university while Cornell like all of the Ivies is liberal; but then he commented that I must have been very relieved to get out of Texas when I went to Cornell. Actually, no. Cornell presented a whole new set of problems.
At Texas A&M I was treated to my fair share of conservative rhetoric. There were things that frustrated me such as the protests against affirmative action or the huge presence of religious organizations that exerted a great deal of influence on the students. On the other hand, when I realized that I was being proselytized I was able to have a mature conversation with my would-be saviors about how I was uncomfortable with having those discussions in the classroom. This ended up being a very useful conversation for them because once I sensed that they were listening and not being defensive I also kindly pointed out that United States common law recognized that there was a difference between them approaching me in the quad where I could walk away if I chose and them approaching me in a classroom where I could not necessarily walk away. One of my classmates later told me that he actually looked up the Bill of Rights after our conversation. In my opinion, this was very tolerant behavior even if the beliefs were not as tolerant.
In Cornell I was in for a shock. Some of my shock was due to my own assumptions of what it would be like to finally live in a place that was similarly open minded - much like how when I was little I thought that I would grow up to some magic age and all lying and bullying would stop because all adults seemed to be so good compared to me (boy was I wrong) or how I thought in high school that when I went to college there would be no more stupid people (nope, there were just as many losers who sit in the back of the class and make fun of everyone). I thought liberals, due to being more open minded and aware of social and environmental issues, would be kinder and wiser by virtue of their awareness. One semester of listening to some of my classmates look down their noses at all the people who were more ignorant than they were cleared up that misconception. Funnily enough, in one of my planning classes we watched a video about racism that I had seen previously in a communications class at Texas A&M. In the Texas version of the class discussion we all talked about ways that we held prejudices and displayed prejudicial behavior. It was an eye opening experience for me to hear from students who didn't get looked in the eye all day or were expected to be athletically gifted. In the New York version of the class discussion I watched a room full of Ivy League educated, future decision makers pat themselves on their backs and talk about how the situations in the video would never happen at Cornell. Oh, really? Then the instructor led a discussion of how we could help others become aware of subtle and institutional racism. I finally spoke up and pointed out that if we had nothing to learn from the video's examples, why were all the white students sitting at the discussion table while all the minority students were sitting in the outer circle? That did not get a good response.
Tolerant is not just a state of mind but is exhibited in behavior. Bigots wear all sorts of hats and many are far sighted. Yes, those classmates from Texas very probably think that I am going to hell but that won't stop them from treating me in a kind way as prescribed by their religion. My time at Cornell was 98% freaking wonderful but 2% of the time I dealt with breathtaking close-mindedness despite our open-minded beliefs. But I least I learned from it.
I tried to give him the facts as I knew them about both schools and answer his queries as honestly as I could but eventually I felt the need to correct him on a few of his assumptions. He correctly assumed that Texas is a much more conservative state than New York and that Texas A&M is a conservative university while Cornell like all of the Ivies is liberal; but then he commented that I must have been very relieved to get out of Texas when I went to Cornell. Actually, no. Cornell presented a whole new set of problems.
At Texas A&M I was treated to my fair share of conservative rhetoric. There were things that frustrated me such as the protests against affirmative action or the huge presence of religious organizations that exerted a great deal of influence on the students. On the other hand, when I realized that I was being proselytized I was able to have a mature conversation with my would-be saviors about how I was uncomfortable with having those discussions in the classroom. This ended up being a very useful conversation for them because once I sensed that they were listening and not being defensive I also kindly pointed out that United States common law recognized that there was a difference between them approaching me in the quad where I could walk away if I chose and them approaching me in a classroom where I could not necessarily walk away. One of my classmates later told me that he actually looked up the Bill of Rights after our conversation. In my opinion, this was very tolerant behavior even if the beliefs were not as tolerant.
In Cornell I was in for a shock. Some of my shock was due to my own assumptions of what it would be like to finally live in a place that was similarly open minded - much like how when I was little I thought that I would grow up to some magic age and all lying and bullying would stop because all adults seemed to be so good compared to me (boy was I wrong) or how I thought in high school that when I went to college there would be no more stupid people (nope, there were just as many losers who sit in the back of the class and make fun of everyone). I thought liberals, due to being more open minded and aware of social and environmental issues, would be kinder and wiser by virtue of their awareness. One semester of listening to some of my classmates look down their noses at all the people who were more ignorant than they were cleared up that misconception. Funnily enough, in one of my planning classes we watched a video about racism that I had seen previously in a communications class at Texas A&M. In the Texas version of the class discussion we all talked about ways that we held prejudices and displayed prejudicial behavior. It was an eye opening experience for me to hear from students who didn't get looked in the eye all day or were expected to be athletically gifted. In the New York version of the class discussion I watched a room full of Ivy League educated, future decision makers pat themselves on their backs and talk about how the situations in the video would never happen at Cornell. Oh, really? Then the instructor led a discussion of how we could help others become aware of subtle and institutional racism. I finally spoke up and pointed out that if we had nothing to learn from the video's examples, why were all the white students sitting at the discussion table while all the minority students were sitting in the outer circle? That did not get a good response.
Tolerant is not just a state of mind but is exhibited in behavior. Bigots wear all sorts of hats and many are far sighted. Yes, those classmates from Texas very probably think that I am going to hell but that won't stop them from treating me in a kind way as prescribed by their religion. My time at Cornell was 98% freaking wonderful but 2% of the time I dealt with breathtaking close-mindedness despite our open-minded beliefs. But I least I learned from it.
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