2 1/2 years after returning to Hong Kong I experienced some of the female camaraderie that I have been desperately missing. It has happened just as I have finally realized that I was going about this all wrong. I do miss my girlfriends from the States. What is not to like about women who play sports, debate about critical theory, drink beer and band together to create all sorts of interesting art projects? But these women are so partly because of the environment that we grew up in. Here in Hong Kong we don't have time for failure. What I mean by that is that there is so much pressure here to succeed and so much competition to be successful that there isn't much room to make a mistake, especially if the mistake is on purpose. My stateside girlfriends and I are more so the products of our mistakes than our successes. When things go right I accept them as a good idea but when things go wrong I am forced to look deeply into why they went wrong and how to resolve the problems. I would definitely say that I learn more from the mistakes. My girlfriends are similarly flawed, multidimensional characters. In the end our fearlessness for going into new situations has been based on our abilities to overcome obstacles and challenge our situations.
As I have spent more time here I have become aware of the pressures placed on my local friends do succeed and I have learned to appreciate our differences of opinion. When I talk about things that haven't gone as expected it is not the same thing as saying that I don't care or that I am unconcerned about success; I simply have another way of learning. When they spend all their time preparing and studying it is because they are trying to make the most out of their opportunities- because these opportunities may only be given once. I can respect that.
As I have spent more time here I have become aware of the pressures placed on my local friends do succeed and I have learned to appreciate our differences of opinion. When I talk about things that haven't gone as expected it is not the same thing as saying that I don't care or that I am unconcerned about success; I simply have another way of learning. When they spend all their time preparing and studying it is because they are trying to make the most out of their opportunities- because these opportunities may only be given once. I can respect that.
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