Thanks to my supervisor's spectacular management skills I didn't go home until 2am last night. The late night combined with the knowledge that it would have been avoided if someone hadn't given me the assignment with only 48 hours notice made for one sad and sorry woman when the alarm clock woke me up for another day of joy. I sent SB to take his shower ahead of me while I tried unsuccessfully to become one with my pillow.
A very few minutes later I was roused by SB's distraught yelling. I shot out of bed and ran to the bathroom, expecting him to lying in a pool of blood, only to find him standing perfectly upright. "What's wrong," I rasped, my heart still in my throat.
SB turned from the mirror to face me. "My nipples are lopsided," he wailed.
Great. After thirty-nine years of blissful ignorance you notice this now. Right now.
I was so unimpressed that I didn't even bother to respond and stomped back to bed. Unfortunately I was fully awake and my snoozy time was over. SB followed me into the bedroom, dripping water all over the floor for me to slip and fall on (at least one of us should manage that pool of blood that woke me up to begin with). He made me analyze his nipple placement and indeed one nipple is an inch or so higher that the other. I wasn't surprised by this so I must have noted it on a subconscious level before. "I can never take my shirt off again!" he wailed some more. Oh puh-leasssse!
I told him that nobody is symmetrical. Why did he care? His shoulders are lopsided from where he broke his collarbone much more noticeably. Anyone looking at him directly can see that he's broken his nose and that doesn't seem to bother him. In fact I was pretty sure that my nipples weren't perfectly symmetrically located either.
So at 7:30 this morning SB and I were standing side by side in front of the mirror like two boobs comparing our boobs.
A very few minutes later I was roused by SB's distraught yelling. I shot out of bed and ran to the bathroom, expecting him to lying in a pool of blood, only to find him standing perfectly upright. "What's wrong," I rasped, my heart still in my throat.
SB turned from the mirror to face me. "My nipples are lopsided," he wailed.
Great. After thirty-nine years of blissful ignorance you notice this now. Right now.
I was so unimpressed that I didn't even bother to respond and stomped back to bed. Unfortunately I was fully awake and my snoozy time was over. SB followed me into the bedroom, dripping water all over the floor for me to slip and fall on (at least one of us should manage that pool of blood that woke me up to begin with). He made me analyze his nipple placement and indeed one nipple is an inch or so higher that the other. I wasn't surprised by this so I must have noted it on a subconscious level before. "I can never take my shirt off again!" he wailed some more. Oh puh-leasssse!
I told him that nobody is symmetrical. Why did he care? His shoulders are lopsided from where he broke his collarbone much more noticeably. Anyone looking at him directly can see that he's broken his nose and that doesn't seem to bother him. In fact I was pretty sure that my nipples weren't perfectly symmetrically located either.
So at 7:30 this morning SB and I were standing side by side in front of the mirror like two boobs comparing our boobs.
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