Tuesday, November 29, 2011

awkward, really awkward

My first kiss wasn't an entirely consensual affair.  I was 12 years old (I think) and had recently agreed to go out with my second boyfriend, Jerome C.  Yes, the first boyfriend never actually got around to kissing me and our relationship consisted of him riding his BMX in circles around me and grabbing my ass in the school hallways as he ran past.  I did always have a round bottom.

So there I was, walking back from lunch with Jerome when all of a sudden he stopped in front of my math class and grabbed me by the face.  I had no idea what I was doing other than turning a deep crimson shade as I could hear the other students tittering nearby.  I was having my first kiss in public, with a very experienced kisser, and everyone could see that I had NO idea what I was doing.  Well, as it turned out only other experienced kissers had an idea that I had no idea what I was doing.  When I finally made it into the classroom I was greeted with a round of applause.  I wanted to die.

I eventually became a big fan of kissing, though I never kissed Jerome C again.  Asshole.  Looking back, it could have been much worse.  I could have been like this couple:

1 comment:

Jennifer W said...

Holy crap. They kiss like my nine month old. Eesh.