Tuesday, September 4, 2012

photo finished

I don't always look my best in photographs, especially posed ones.  By the time the shutter is released my smile has become strained, the sunlight is burning a hole in my cornea and that happy, relaxed look is starting to reveal cracks.  Group photos all but guarantee that someone is going to be caught grimacing or squinting.  This is why I was amazed that everyone in the group shot of a recent wedding looked great.  Too bad the couple in the third row on the right ruined the picture.

The picture ruiners were the bride's cousin and his date.  Cousin Bob was just thrilled that he had managed to snag such a hot date to the affair.  Come picture time, he must not have wanted anyone to confuse who his date had arrived with because he was pressed up so close to the back of her that the pressure gradient might have created a suction.  And just to make sure, he also had his arms around her in mimicry of an octopus mating ritual.  One can only hope that this ends for him as well as it does for male octopuses (hint: the woman gets to keep something that a human female only gets to keep metaphorically).

His date, who was the only wedding attendee close to rivaling his level of smugness, left her mark on the group wedding photo by pouting sexily with shoulders back and bosom thrust out.  I'm sure that Cousin Bob is going to be thrilled when he receives his copy of the photograph, at least for the net few weeks until his date discovers that his bank account isn't as big as she thought and dumps him for a banker.

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