Wednesday, February 6, 2013

oh baby

It seems that every other person I meet wants to know why SB and I aren't married.  I've had some people ask the question within hours of being introduced.  I don't know why I answer politely when such a personal question seems so impolite coming from someone I just met.  Maybe I feel pressure to present unmarried couples in a good light rather than a sinful, red light.  We aren't opposed to getting married; in fact we have been working toward it but at a very, very, very slow pace.  We'll do it when we feel like it.  There is no major rush since we aren't doing it for religious/procreation purposes.

The follow up inevitably is why don't we want children.  Almost every busybody will then exclaim, "but you would make such good parents!"  First of all, we just met you so that's a really irresponsible thing to say.  Second, why does everyone think that it's a valid argument?  I DO think that I'm capable of being a good parent.  I have volunteered to coach or tutor children almost all of my adult life, and in one case the kid I mentored spent more time with me than his mother, even when she wasn't in jail.  My desire not to procreate is not because I'm some child hater or lacking in ability to nurture.  In fact, I love our nieces and nephews to bits and trips home always include plans to spend quality time with the kids.  So please stop telling me that I should have children because I'll make such a good mother.  From my experience as a pole vaulter, I'd probably make a great pole dancer but that doesn't mean that I should be running out to buy a pair of Lucite heels and a sparkly thong.  Or does it?


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