Saturday, December 28, 2013

zombie apocalypse

With all of the bacterial and viral mutations that are popping up these days, I'm not so sure that the threat of a zombie outbreak isn't conceivable. We already have toxins that destroy the brain, parasites that eat the brain, and diseases that infect the brain.  The only problem is how are we going to be able to identify zombies in Hong Kong?

From 6pm onward during weekdays the walking dead seem to roam through Central. I have the misfortune of having to attend a board meeting at an office in the middle of Central on certain evenings and it's an uphill battle against hordes of office workers who are stumbling around with their faces stuck to their phones. In my own office, most of my colleagues put on their headphones on the way out of the doors and join the masses that clog up the district by stumbling around slowly because no one can take the time to look up from their shiny phone screens to notice that they are walking into the side of a tram (yes, I actually saw a young lady step off the median into the side of a stopped tram).

On weekends, only the desperate or unfortunate will enter Causeway Bay because of the shopping zombies. There must be some sort of brain sucking transmission employed by dastardly marketing executives because mall goers tend to be rendered deaf and dumb once they enter a shop. How else can I explain why a perfectly normal looking couple will stop suddenly in the middle of a thoroughfare and then both of them will gape at a shopfront with their mouths open while pedestrians run into them? And what else could be the cause of a crazed pair of women in ugly, rhinestone affixed, velour tracksuits and dragging monstrous, pink suitcases trying to violently insert themselves in the front of the lift queue at Sogo?

Zombies are already here.

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