Thursday, May 15, 2014

fruitful visit

I went to Sonoma to support my sister as she had her first child but the baby hadn't arrived by the time that I left. I was okay with that. The lack of baby meant that I was able to enjoy the sights and sounds of the town. I listened to live music, attended a couple of farmer's markets, sampled multiple beers and wines, ate delicious, local fare, spent time with friends, visited a sculpture garden, and went on several hikes. Sonoma is a wonderful place and strangely similar to Ithaca, though Sonoma is wealthier and more firmly into organic living. While I (and my pocketbook) support my sister's organic only philosophy, I wasn't thrilled to be on the receiving end of moral lectures regarding my enjoyment of junk food. I stopped going to mass to avoid the judgement so I certainly didn't need the eco-warrior version of holier than thou.

I also learned a lot more about pregnant women and hormones than I ever wanted to know. My sister could only speak to her boyfriend by whining at him and he confessed to me that she had been like this the entire nine months. She was amusingly forgetful and distracted. She was not amusingly rude to her boyfriend and cranky. I reminded myself that her hormones were out of control and she was very uncomfortable carrying around a fully developed baby. But at one point I had to take her aside and speak with her about how awful she was being to the father, who was doing nothing but serve her. She whined about all of the things that he wasn't doing for her and never thanked him for the many things that he did for her. I have come to the conclusion that pregnancy escalated all of her bad qualities and unfortunately removed almost everything that made her lovable.

The distance both geographically and emotionally that has existed between us caused me to forget a few things. Distance, making the heart grow fonder, also made me forget what a princess she used to be when we were growing up so I was abruptly reintroduced to the tantrum throwing, whiny, demanding virago of our childhood, but magnified into a largely pregnant harpy. Yeah, it was not fun.

I managed to keep the smile firmly pasted on my face for the entire two weeks, doting on her and reminding her of all of her blessings. I even managed to look disappointed that I would not be extending my visit.

Overall, it was a good visit. We got along, I saw friends, I saw the best of Sonoma, and I was reminded of why I am so very lucky to be me. I have my wonderful SB, two fur babies that are everything I ever wanted, and affirmation that I was not meant to reproduce. I love children and thoroughly enjoy my role as a coach and auntie, but childbirth and all of the related et cetera are not for me. Oh boy are they not for me.

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