Friday, September 25, 2015

desperately devoted


Tippytoes has a bit of a problem. I don't know how it came about exactly but one day, seemingly out of the blue, she cast her eyes in my direction and suddenly realized that she loved me. I mean, really, really loved me. It was like in those romantic fictions, when the character is suddenly struck by Cupid's arrow. The next thing that I knew, she was frantically licking me to the point that I had to wear knee socks for several weeks until she finally calmed down. A year later, she is still desperately attached to me but without the full on psychosis. Now instead of showing me her love with a tongue bath, she usually settles for throwing herself on top of me or rolling belly up before me, usually while I am trying to step around her. I love her, though. How can I not when she has such good taste? I meant that figuratively, by the way.


SB and I recently took a short trip to San Francisco to attend a wedding and visit my nephew. It was the first time that both of us left the dogs and I was a stress ball about it, but our dog sitter reported that all was well aside from Tip not eating very well. When SB and I returned, we were not too surprised that both dogs threw themselves at us in a frenzy of excitement. Elsie raced back and forth, hauling over her most beloved toys to offer as tribute, while Tippy flailed about like a fish and made weird, crying noises. After having our flight delayed by eight hours and all of our luggage lost (how do you not load all of the luggage when the plane is at the gate for eight hours?!) it was a very pleasurable homecoming.


After returning from my first day back at the office, I was greeted with only slightly less enthusiasm from Tippy. Unfortunately, I was exhausted and promptly went to bed, leaving her apparently dissatisfied with the amount of cuddling that I had imparted. At some point during my deep slumber, I felt a thump on the mattress and suddenly, there was my dog. The bed is a lovely teak framed canopy that is high from the floor. I cannot touch the floor with my short legs when I sit at the edge of the bed. I was impressed by how Tippy managed to leap onto the bed, though she will not be allowed to repeat her performance.


While I was delirious with fatigue, Tippy was able to take advantage and lick me frantically, like she used to a year ago. At some point I had to pull her from where she was latched onto my armpit and suckling. Because she's a weirdo like that. Then she proceeded to lick my face and managed to stick her tongue in my mouth as I was grumbling at her to stop. Now, I adore my dog as much as any other crazy dog lover, but I am not a fan of being french kissed by a canine. There are those people who are down with receiving wet, slobbery face kisses, but I am not one of them.

My best friend is one. Not only does she kiss her dog, but I once saw her sharing breakfast with it, as in both of them licking the same cereal spoon together. All I can say about that is it's a good thing that she is a gorgeous redhead with a rocking body because it means that her husband is too busy staring at her boobs to notice that she's making out with a chihuahua. Me, I don't have huge boobs so I guess that I'm better off being normal.

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