Wednesday, June 24, 2015

I wish them luck in the future

SB and I have kind of started our wedding research again, mostly due to peer pressure. One of our friends cornered us at another couple's wedding and not so subtly spoke of how much she would look forward to SB and my nuptials, having waited for SO LONG.

I told SB that we need to do a cost comparison of a reception that serves delicious food versus one with mediocre food and lots of alcohol. I don't know why he gave me a strange look.

My wedding could end up something like this lovely one in Pennsylvania. I have just cut and pasted the entire write-up by Newser because all parts were too good to leave out.

(NEWSER) – A wedding reception in Berks County, Pa., turned into something resembling a regional police convention when officers from 16 forces turned up to deal with rowdy guests—including the groom, who spent his wedding night in jail. From what police could piece together, the reception at a venue in Ontelaunee Township started to turn ugly when partygoer Mandi Groh punched another woman in the face after she complained about Groh allowing her drunk 14-year-old son to drink beer,WFMZ reports. The brawl grew and, according to a police report, by the time Northern Berks officers turned up, some of the guests were shirtless and bloody, reports theReading Eagle.
"Several people were trying to be a calming influence in all of this, but at that point, alcohol had taken over," wrote one of the responding officers, who received help from the Fleetwood, Hamburg, Penn State, Berks County, Wyomissing, Bern, Spring, Tilden, Reading, and Muhlenberg forces, among others. The first officers to arrive on the scene had called for all available assistance when the crowd "was getting riled up" and turning on them, theEagle reports. Four officers were injured and a total of seven people, including groom Nicholas Papoutsis, who allegedly challenged officers to a fight, were arrested. Police say the "very upset" bride was treated for alcohol poisoning and dehydration, reports the Eagle. As for that 14-year-old, he blew a 0.16, twice the legal limit for adults. What the wedding venue's owner had to say: "I wish the couple luck in the future because it's not a very good start."  

Thursday, June 11, 2015

the victors and the spoils

"Play it long and look for the head of Wambach’ seems the default game-plan for a team stuck in the past. World football has moved, in case Jill Ellis hasn’t noticed. US were outplayed by a better, smarter footballing side..."

By the comments published on Australia's official team website, you would have thought that the Matildas had won the soccer match.  But they didn't. Hahahahaha

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

just to be clear

One of my friends flew to Texas for a family visit. "Just remember not to be black," I told her.

In Texas, the police believe that 14 year old black girls in bikinis are more of a threat than armed bikers. If you are a biker at the scene of a mass killing, you can sit down and text your buddies while the police sort it out. If you are a black kid the the scene of a pool party where white people were yelling racist comments at you, well let's just say that it's hard to text when you are planted face down with a police officer kneeling on your back. This girl had a pool pass, by the way. But it didn't make up for being black.

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

right wingnuts

I'm pretty sure that FUC and the Feminist Majority Foundation are part of a vast right wing conspiracy to make us look bad. Really, really bad.

Thursday, June 4, 2015

FH Fox was 92

Source: Ezra Magazine

At some point in the earlier months of my Ithaca residency, I made a trip to the big apple. Driving down Route 366 near Varna, approximately ten minutes into my four hour journey, I came across an unusual sight: graffiti in a rural setting. An ancient railroad bridge had the message, "FH Fox is 81." Other than the remarkable fact that this was in fact country graffiti, and poorly done at that, I didn't think to much on it. I assumed that FH Fox was a class of 81 graduate who may have overindulged at a recent class reunion and left his lasting mark on the countryside.

The next year I noticed that the bridge graffiti had been updated to "FH Fox is 82." Hmm.

I eventually got to the bottom of the story. Cornell has a rich history of pranks, and while I would like to say that we are elite in this manner, I believe that most schools have a sense of humor with the exception of Princeton and Columbia. I used to think that douchebaggery only afflicted men until I men a few Princeton women, but that's another story.

Anyway, FH Fox was a veterinary professor, Dr. Francis H. Fox, who passed away this year at the age of 92. Dr. Fox's age was updated every year by each third year class from the College of Veterinary Medicine as an ongoing prank or act of revenge. Apparently Dr. Fox enjoyed playing tricks on his students, his standby being to drive a student to a far away location for a veterinary appointment and then drive off. the students had plenty of time to dream up revenge on the long walk back to campus, and I am fairly certain that the bridge graffiti proclaiming Dr. Fox's age was hatched on such a walk.

I wonder what will happen now that FH fox will age no more.