Monday, December 14, 2009

Double Trouble

So I had this friend in uni who wasn't the nicest guy but somehow we got along fine. He was just an ogre and all the girls on my rugby team despised him for good reason. He even made a few of them cry at training when we had combined drills. But I liked him, even though I was well aware that he kinda sucked. He was always honest with me, even saying unflattering things to me about how I wasn't very feminine but he also admitted that he was not nice to girls and probably only liked me because I wasn't very feminine. I somehow managed to balance not girly with not trying to be a boy either. He liked that I could talk about things that interested him instead of whatever he imagined women talked about. And I could tell him that he sucked and he agreed. He grew up in a very tough neighborhood and had gunshot scars to prove it. I had never met anyone like him. He eventually got his degree in civil engineering and went to work on an oil rig where no one cared that he had been to prison because they had all been also. And I said prison, not jail.

Anyway, a few years later I was shocked speechless when I heard that he got married. And his wife is certainly no tomboy. She is a sharp witted beauty queen who isn't afraid to stand up to him and tell him if he's being a donkey. And he practically kneels before her, which is more than I ever could have hoped for. But this doesn't mean that he's become nice to other women.

This year I found out that they were expecting. She has two rowdy boys from previous relationships and I know he was very excited to have another boy to add to the small football team he was assembling. Tell me if you can guess where I'm going with this.

If you guessed that she gave birth to a girl, you are partially correct. If you guessed that they now have twin redheaded princesses then pat yourself on the back. I have spent the past week looking at their pictures on facebook and giggling. As it turns out, he is quite smitten with his daughters but he also is aware that there are a lot of women having a good laugh over this.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

On love


Former Latina chief editor Sandra Guzman wrote about Justice Sonia Sotomayor in "Her Honor," which I recommend for reading. Using the many statements given by friends and family (Justice Sotomayor does not give interviews herself), Guzman presents a warm, humble, and charitable woman in addition to what I already know about how smart and committed she is. What especially struck me was how Guzman gave a LOT of details of Justice Sotomayor's love life and how these details surprised me. She has led quite a full life and imparts wisdom despite not completely succeeding in love herself:

[Sotomayor] told me that we have been wrongfully taught the Cinderella fairy tale as a paradigm for what happy relationships are supposed to be. And when we fall short of that, we suffer for it.

To find happiness in love, she said, we have to make up our own rules. It's not easy, but it's doable. The process may involve unlearning what we have been taught and then figuring out what makes us happy. There are all types of relationships and arrangements to choose from. Of course, the trick is finding a companion who shares those values.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Number 7, you rock

While I feel that the hair pulling, punching, face kicking soccer player from New Mexico was evil and possibly psychotic (ask me from what school was the player who gave me the bite mark scar on my hand during West playoffs in university), I am rooting for number 7.

Number 7, in blue, is the only woman on her school hockey team at Exeter (PA). Her team was playing against East Penn Scholastic Hockey League rivals, Gov. Mifflin. She was circling the net when two Mifflin goons decided to tag team her and knock her to the ground. Watch her give as good as any boy in the ensuing madness.

This goes against everything I have said about hating violence in sports. I know this. But in the words of my father when I got sent home from school in 3rd grade for fighting back against a boy bully, "good for you."